The Chicken and the Egg

i had a really fun time last night (:, but with a few rude interuptions. yea, you guessed it: parents.

i dont like to pull out personal shit of mine. i feel like the things i have to deal with behind closed doors, should remain there. but yesterday, over something really dumb like "coming home at 9:30" or "back talking" or whatever, who knew it would turn into this?! yea a lot of people know that i dont get along with my parents, at all. its a proven fact. whatevs. i honestly don't know why. im a good kid right? haha. i try hard in school, but sometimes thats not enough for them. this crazy unending cycle of harsh rules, breaking the rules, getting grounded, breaking the rules again, getting more grounded, screaming yelling, mutual apologizing, rule breaking, etc. is getting fucking old. im more determined than ever to break this routine. no more crying, no more negativity, no more disfunctionality.

a lot of people ask me, "why are you so scared of your parents? they always ruin your mood when youre out". i have no response. truthfully, all im thinking about is getting into shit trouble. i dont even want to describe what that can entail. thats pretty much the answer. ive been through a lot; whether its from friends, family, or boys, my life is far far far from perfect. this facade, this picture is such a fallacy: perfect parents, perfect friends, perfect boyfriend, perfect LIFE. whaaaaat bullshit.but all in all, ive come to realize that i dont need to care about the parentalllllls and what they say to me. ima be someone some day. i gonna go to college. im gonna be someone someday. im gonna kick ass and make a change in this world. no one, especially negative people, is gonna hold me back from achieving my dreams.

im not a drama queen. i used to be, haha. but now, im possibly one of the strongest people you will ever meet.