i have this fear, you see.
yes, i was in love. yes, i'll never forget that and ill never regret it. it changed my life for the better. and so many people ask me 'why' so many times and i wont give you an answer, because 1. you wouldnt understand and 2. youre not on my side in the first place.
you know what rihanna said in an interview with good morning america today? "F LOVE, its blind". i probably will laugh at that in a while, but i believe her right now.
i was watching ugly betty today, i started tearing. when molly tells daniel thats she gonna die and daniel stays there with her, no matter what. theres this scared part of me that is totally lame that thinks ill never get married, that im not a good person, and ill never find him. its out there. maybe he's the same person, someone thats right in front of me, or someone i dont even know. i just dont want to find out now.
my biggest pet peeve throughout this entire process is the fact that people judge me. i hate being told that what im doing is 'wrong'. what exactly am i doing? and why do i fucking care what you think? lol my friend told me yesterday, you live your life for you. i just might be a little paranoid, but, like my mom says, save the drama for your mama, and my little added bonus a nice little 'f you'.
so, on the eve of my birthday, i would like to profess that i am happy. sue me bitch. there are a few people in my life that have made it so much easier on me and have let me be myself through everything. i want to thank them, but they know who they are. so, thanks because i kinda don't know where id be without you people. xoxo
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